What We've Learnt From Movies

[VLS]

What We've Learnt From Movies


1. During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

2. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

3. It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

4. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No-one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

5. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war.

6. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

7. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

8. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

9. Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.

10. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

11. If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition - even if you haven't been carrying any before now.

12. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

13. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat them.

14. The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job.

15. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

16. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.

17. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

18. Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.

19. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

20. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

21. Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

22. No-one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

23. When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

24. An electric fence powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight year old child.

25. Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

26. You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

27. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

28. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

29. Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of our visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology.

30. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.

31. Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

32. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of Wembley Stadium.

33. Male human beings almost never undress to have sex, or if they finally do it, they are samples of the species with no visible genitals.

34. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

35. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

36. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

37. Interbreeding is genetically possible with any creature from elsewhere in the universe.

38. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

39. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one loaf of French Bread.

40. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.

41. If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.

42. All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.

43. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off...

[ThomasGrant]

OMG...

Have not laughed so hard in a long time.

How about these.

Anyone being chased by a car. Will always run straight down the road. Even at night.
They never veer left of jump to somewhere else. Or change lanes. Or even use the footpath.

Most animals can now speak English. Or if the movie is dubbed. The animals will have subtitles.
So that means, most animals can now speak any language.

[TwoCatSam]

When the hero is being fired upon by an entire platoon using AK47's, trees will be mowed down behind him, dust will fly into the air, yet he will never be hit!

[chrisbis]

Never mind the lipstick!!!!>>>>>>>>

Its the whole airbrushed looooook that remain
completely intact, with our host/heroine has
just jumped out of a burning plane,
fought a cage full of lions,
grappled with the feistiest of sharks
or just been shagged backwards by
her captor/target!!

Love them filums!

[ThomasGrant]

Anyone being chased by a car. Will always run straight down the road. Even at night.
They never veer left of jump to somewhere else. Or change lanes. Or even use the footpath.

Plus the car never hits them.
Never overtakes them.
And the car is always chasing a guy.
Why a car driven by mad men. Never chases women is beyond me.

In the past. And sometimes even now.
Bad guys or when something bad is about to happen.
The picture is askew some 25 to 35%

In every plane movie I have ever seen.
No one has ever used a spew bag.

[ThomasGrant]

When the hero is being fired upon by an entire platoon using AK47's, trees will be mowed down behind him, dust will fly into the air, yet he will never be hit!

LOL...
I know...
Man they are some bad shots.

Or if the hero does get hit.
It is always a flesh wound.

[Jordan]

When the BAD guy has capture the HERO ,before try to kill him he MUST tell all his BAD plan....
So the HERO after he will ALWAYS find the way to set himself free,he already know what the BAD guy had planed in order to prevent it.....

hahahahahhaha

[VLS]

When the hero is being fired upon by an entire platoon using AK47's, trees will be mowed down behind him, dust will fly into the air, yet he will never be hit!

ahaha, you forgot: when the hero fires, he barely needs to look where the bad guy is without really aiming. Just fire that pistol in the air carelessly and the bullet sure hits!