The story of Ken (Mr J)

[Steve]

This post explains Ken's motives for attacking me, and how far he's prepared to go. I have better things to do, but I can refer anyone to this page if they ask why he's so determined to harm me.

At one stage, I considered Ken a friend. But due to his personal problems (including but not limited to trust issues) he started attacking everyone, including his friends.

How I first met Ken

I first knew of Ken when I joined Gambler's Glen forum. In fact I think GG was the first forum I ever posted at, and that was only because some nut was telling lies about me (Mark Howe). In retrospect I shouldn't have wasted the time responding, considering one new lie was made after another. As usual, the people attacking me had no interest in facts or the truth. The intent was purely malicious.

Anyway, at GG I had no interest in Ken but he started attacking me without having any idea about anything. Mostly he just called me names like "scammer" while professing his own success at roulette. I sometimes responded to his nonsense but mostly he just followed me around the forum trolling and calling me names, while I was defending myself against malicious lies. It has always been that way - I have no desire to attack anyone. Why bother? I just refute nonsense and explain people's motives to defend myself. That tends to upset them, so they attack me more. But in knowing that, still generally I wont let people lie without any response.

Ken mostly argued with Caleb (general, herb, snowman etc) because Ken would brag about how great his systems were. And Caleb would explain why Ken's approaches lost. Later on, they stopped arguing mainly because Ken relaxed a little. Now Ken tends to "pamper" Caleb's ego. I think because Ken is just just glad Caleb stopped making him look foolish.

Anyhow, Ken followed me to other forums including mine, and tended to create a lot of trouble with other members. He has always been arguing with people - wherever he goes.

My opinion of Ken at this stage was he's a bit of a "dickhead". The internet is full of them. Other than that, I didn't think about him.

I was looking for a new forum moderator, and he said he could do a good job. Well after all his ranting and complaining about other moderators, I decided to give him a shot. I expected the worst that could happen is he doesn't do a good job and he's removed as moderator.

For some time he was a reasonable moderator. It must have been years. He removed obvious spam, which is not hard to do. And mostly he did what was needed. But some problems were:

* He was always in conflict with people, and pushing away productive members. Especially when a member like this is also a moderator, it makes the forum unappealing to many.

* He often didn't understand the fine line between when to moderate posts, and appropriate steps to take. Basically to allow free speech, without accepting crap. Turner understands this quite well and his in own words called it "pub rules". Ultimately Ken would over-moderate and bully people. And he acted as if being a moderator would give him immunity from honest criticism.

* He sometimes abused his powers to win arguments

I spoke privately with him about some of the issues, and tried to keep an eye on things. My opinion of him at stage was basically that he had become a friend. We spoke about personal issues and whatever. I came to understand he has a lot of personal baggage and issues. I didn't hold that against him though, and offered my support advice - as friends do.

I came to understand he is an emotional and unstable guy, with some strange views. There were lots of little signs. Like one time (at band camp), he told me if I wanted to upset a person who smoked that I should say they smoked "girl cigarettes". Why? Because he believed it would harm the ego of this person and play with their head. Yes, he really said this. And yes, he was serious. There's much more. He didn't seem to be "all there". But he usually meant well, unless you upset him - and then he'd be desperate to upset you in any way. He had problems behaving especially on other forums.

Although he mostly behaved on this forum, I received many complaints about him from forum members. About his behavior towards members, and biased moderation. I spoke to Ken when needed, and he attempted to fix problems.

But after some time, Ken's behavior became even more erratic and unstable. He was involved in more conflict than usual. He was losing it at the smallest things. He complained that people were attacking him, but he didn't understand he attacked others first, and they just responded.

Then the reason became clear when he posted this in the moderator section:



We supported Ken and gave advice. It's not a nice thing to go through. And when members continued to complain about him, I supported Ken. I was sometimes accused of being biased towards protecting Ken. I tried not to be though. I listened to people's complaints and spoke to Ken, and he agreed to more carefully watch his behavior.

Ken posted this at another forum:



So we were on good terms with each other. But his behavior towards others was a continuing problem.

Here's a post from a mod at another forum. There are many other examples, but his already serious problems became even worse. He clearly had personal problems and was attacking many people. Go to any forum Ken is at (that's he's still allowed at) and he'll still be in some kind of conflict.



At this time, he continued to be moderator here, despite still causing problems and wasting my time to defend him.

Then one day I noticed he removed a massive amount of posts from the forum. Maybe he wasn't aware I can see deleted material, but I found he removed posts that made him look "foolish". Basically he was abusing his powers to win arguments. He removed parts that especially contradicted things he said, and could have been used against him.

I immediately removed Ken as moderator and spoke to him privately about it. He may have personal problems, but it's no excuse. He then went to another forum and posted this:



I didn't care he was lying. It didn't really matter. Ken creates problems in his own life, then complains about them while making it even worse. And I'm not just talking about his girlfriend. I still felt sorry for him.

So at this stage, Ken became a regular member here. He wasn't moderator anymore, so his conflict got even worse with people. He was not contributing anything valuable to the forum. Almost every post of his involved negativity and conflict. He complained to me about members attacking him. And I explained that he was his own problem. I also explained that:

* He needed to report any breach of rules (attacks) by using the "report post" function. He should have known that's the best way to notify moderators because we don't read every single post.

* He needed to understand that his snide comments towards others is an attack. He was attacking people, then complaining that he was being attacked back.

Honestly it was like separating fighting kids. I asked involved people to back up and calm down. It was a big waste of everyone's time. But I very carefully monitored the situation to see exactly who was stepping over the line.

In the end, I saw that even when others had calmed down, Ken was the primary agitator. And he was not listening to reason. In any normal case, I would have just banned him. But I understood his personal problems. Still I was in a difficult position because he was causing lots of trouble, while complaining that people attacked him. He failed to see he caused the conflict in the first place. And that if it were to stop, he'd need to behave himself too. The key factor here is even when others behaved, he continued. As per his post I published, he was even aware he was bringing his baggage to the forum.

Anyway, in trying to make the right decision, I dont have time to read every post, so I dont know everything going on. Specifically I dont always know for sure who the troublemakers are. From what I saw, RG and Ken were in some ways as bad as each other. But I felt when RG stopped, Ken seemed to usually be the one who kept going. It wasn't always the case, but mostly Ken was the problem.

So to get a better understanding of the situation, I asked members to let me know if they thought anyone here should be banned. Basically I wanted member feedback. In the end, not one member thought anyone should be banned. But Ken immediately assumed he would inevitably be banned. So he then started backstabbing me on other forums, calling me names and sending abusive PMs etc. It was a real slap in the face especially after everything I had done for Ken including allow him to prove himself as a mod, and constantly supporting him when other members hated him, and even being a friend to him. I didn't want to ban him, so i asked him as a matter of respect, that he stopped posting at my forum. I just didn't want anything to do with him anymore. He refused to leave, and continued to cause trouble here, while attacking me on other forums. So my only option left was to ban him.

He was constantly attacking members here and disrupting the forum. And he was constantly attacking me on other forums. He left me no choice.

The result of all this is he is spamming hateful and blatant lies about me on other forums. For years he defended me from these same lies, telling people I was honest. And now he's spamming the blatant lies.

He knows the information he's posting is nonsense. He does not care. His intentions are purely malicious.

Based on what he said and images he posted, he believes I "betrayed" him. In fact, he did it all to himself but finds it easier to blame others for his mistakes.

For as long as I can remember, Ken has lurked on forums and they've been a big part of his life. And now to be banned from the main forum for his favorite game, I guess he feels I'm responsible for taking that part of his life away. Really it's silly. It's just a forum. But he has taken it hard, despite him doing it all to himself. I suppose his fall from a moderator position is humiliating for him. And he feels like I'm responsible. No Ken, you did it all.

As it is now, Ken can barely go a day without mentioning me on other forums. He re-posts blatant lies about me from other people like Mark Howe. He is particularly desperate to harm me in any way with no known limit. He even resorted to posting private addresses and attacks on my family.

Ken's inquiry to buy a roulette computer

Ken likes to consider himself an honest person. He's honest about some things. But when it comes to matters of pride and ego, honesty isn't a consideration. Neither is any form of integrity. I could give many examples, but here's one.

Since Ken started attacking me and my roulette computers, I reminded everyone he once inquired about buying a computer. This implied that he wasn't doing well at roulette, and that he knew he was lying about me and my computers being a scam. A member reminded Ken of this, and Ken lost the plot.

In response, Ken said it was a lie and that he never inquired about buying a roulette computer. And he said he'd create a lie about the member who said this. And he did. The lie was that the member secretly once claimed they were charged for molesting a child. It was so vile that even the admin of an uncensored forum had to remove it. As I understand, this is the second time Ken made this claim against someone on a forum. There's absolutely no truth to it. And it goes to show Ken's state of mind.

There's much more I could explain about Ken's character, and many old posts he might not like me to bring up. But I don't have the time. Unless he really wants me to.

Here are the conversations with Ken about computers. They show his original posts and my responses. I originally agreed to keep it private, but considering the malicious attacks against the member and myself, publishing these is justified:

Ken's messages are in the quotes below my response (red box). And keep in mind Ken flat denied ever inquiring about buying a computer. He said it was all a lie. And he calls me and the member a liar.



Then a few months later he asks again:



There's more to the conversation but these are the main parts (there are also some other conversations of interest, if he wants)

Spreading blatant lies about a forum admin that rightfully banned you, and even attacking his family is bad enough. But spreading malicious lies about someone being a convicted child molester is as bad as it gets. It just goes to show the member really hit the spot because it exposed Ken as a lying fraud. It showed he knows he's lying about me. It also showed that he was lying about being successful with his "methods".

I also have old messages from Ken admitting he was losing at roulette. Among other things he said he was getting his "ass kicked" by roulette. It's not important but does show that while Ken tells everyone he wins consistently and calls everyone else a "rookie", Ken is just talk.


Ken:

* Be more careful about who you attack.

* Take responsibility for your own actions. Stop blaming others. In words you can understand: BE A MAN

* Your attacks against me are childish rants. I'm fully aware publishing this information will aggravate you. But fortunately I'm used to far worse attacks and don't care enough.

* When you began attacking me, I explained I'm not interested. I tried to calm you down but you only responded with name calling and more attacks against me.

For your own sake, you need to understand how pathetic you are being. Attacking a forum admin, who was among your only friends, when you gave him no choice. Now you resort to cutting and pasting blatant lies and twisted nonsense, and why? To try and upset me for revenge. You need to look at yourself. You are your problem and if you're not man enough to see and fix it, you'll sink deeper.

The great thing is you can change any second. You can wake up to yourself. Be honest with yourself. My money is on you sinking even deeper into the abyss. That's what I've known you to do to yourself for years.

You will continue to delude yourself about how everyone else is the problem.

You will continue to twist reality in your own head about what happened.

You will maintain this intense hatred and blame others for your failure. And even when you forget about me, you will find someone else to target, perhaps never understanding you are your problem.

You know what you are doing is malicious and dishonest. You don't care. You are unaware of how you make your own reality hell. I dont hate you Ken. I just want nothing to do with you.

At the end of it all when you realize who you've hurt most with wasted time and self-destructive emotion, ask yourself if it was worth it. The last person to dedicate their life to harming me ended up accusing me of ruining their life. And I did nothing but refute lies and explain their motives. They imploded their own lives, and blamed me for it. For as long as I've known you, you've been blaming the world - never looking at yourself.

My sincere advice to you is:

* Recognize you are your own problem. You probably already know this to some extent, but find it easier to blame others.

* Understand we all make mistakes. But we can all change at any second. It's actually really easy to just let go and be glad to change, and make yourself better. You are in full control.

* This intense hatred you have towards many people is a serious problem. It creates even more hatred like a loop, and you'll keep getting worse. Stop taking everything so seriously. Actually try understanding and love, as gay as it might sound. Just for one day, try letting go of the ego and learn to appreciate you already have everything you need. And the capacity to change anything you want is always there.

* Get regular exercise and eat healthier. You'll feel far better. Your serotonin would be low.

* Set some goals and get a sense of achievement.

* Stop wasting time and focusing on other people. Focus on your own life.

* Ditch your cheating girlfriend. Don't go on that cruise with her. You can never repair a relationship like that. It will just slowly destroy you.

* Having a jihad on me or anyone is not something to be proud of. You are wasting your life. Are you really proud of being a liar?  I'll never get into a full scale war with you because I don't care enough. But do you really want to tempt me to post more?

Now sure, have your rant about what a scammer I am. Make up new lies. Try new things to get at me. There's no stopping that. And if you get frustrated that I dont seem to give a crap, go over the top and see where it gets you. If on the other hand you actually stop and apologize to me, then kudos to you. It's much harder to admit mistakes because it might feel humiliating. But in the long run you'll get much more respect for having the balls.

I dont expect an apology. Im pretty darn sure it will never happen. But I wish you well Ken, really. And I hope more for your sake, you don't take too long to understand what I'm saying.

[RouletteGhost]

Oh god I'm going to sleep so peacefully tonight.

[Proofreaders2000]

Ken gave a lot of bad advice over the years. 
Just wish he could have been exposed sooner.

[falkor2k15]

You guys see the world a lot different to me. You see different people with different issues that can change over time. So this is a case of a relationship that went on far too long - yet the signs were there from the very beginning that it wasn't going to work out. So I think Steve and most other people could benefit from my "A4 sheet of paper that explains all human behaviour". I was planning on writing a book, but actually it's one A4 sheet of paper that guides me with interacting with other humans and forming potential relationships - most should be avoided. It's a similar approach to roulette: there are 27 sequences of dozens in 3 spins, but only 3 combinations. Rather than look at 27 people as all being different - you need to look at only 3 combinations. All humans are similar and all behave similarly based on all having egos and reputations to uphold. And they don't just change over time unless they are the 1% who happen to accept they have a problem, research it and get necessary help.

[Turner]

So this is a case of a relationship that went on far too long - yet the signs were there from the very beginning

I really like this line. Unfortunately the signs are usually only visible to the "un-involved" and put on the back burner and often go into denial by the "involved"

[falkor2k15]

"Get your hands off me! Why did you embarrass me like that just now in front of my friends... you did the same thing last week when we went to that other party."
"Don't leave me!!! I will commit suicide..."

Abusive relationships just never stop...they just keep going on and on and on because few understand the basics about human behaviour, their own identity and how they fit into society.

[denzie]

Most of us knew this already. All his methods lose. And then of course saying they been improved beyond our understanding was hilarious.

Well let's post something here now and then so it stays visual as he's doing on GF.

[RouletteGhost]

I actually kind of feel bad


Let's assume finding his girlfriend in bed with another man wasn't a bullshit ploy for sympathy and it's actually true, and he's lost thousands at roulette, this post may put him over the edge.

He takes these forums very seriously and keeps logs of members and posts

He's not normal. This may set him over the edge

For any normal person this post wouldn't bother them too much

[DoctorSudoku]

So I think Steve and most other people could benefit from my "A4 sheet of paper that explains all human behaviour". I was planning on writing a book, but actually it's one A4 sheet of paper that guides me with interacting with other humans and forming potential relationships - most should be avoided.

Falkor,
I am interested in your theory of human behavior that you put on that A4 sheet of paper.

Please post it somewhere on this forum.  Put it in a new topic thread.

This is a serious request.

[RouletteGhost]

LOL

look at Ken's signature in his posts above

LOLOLOL

[RouletteGhost]

sorry

i have to post this

cause i laughed out loud

sigh

LMAO

the good old days

Good old caleb

[denzie]

LMFAO reading his latest SYSTEM. someone remind me.....how many year she's playing now ?

No Mr Gay...it doesnt need 800 billion spins...800 will do to make it sink deeper then the titanic.

Well at least it was a good laugh. 
FYI...You shot first wannabe pro

[Steve]

Ken is just a lonely insecure guy on forums. He trolls trying make himself feel better by telling everyone they're rookies. Everyone knows he's just talk. It became more obvious when he explained to me he was losing and wanted to buy a roulette computer, then had to lie about it, forgetting I could post the conversation.

I haven't read his dribble for a while but looking at his gf history he posted on all the way from Christmas to New Years, mostly complaining about people on this forum. It doesn't surprise me.

Part of me feels sorry for him. The other part knows he's a dick who makes his own trouble, then blames others for his life. Unfortunately he's a troubled guy, dont waste your time. World is full of them

[Madi]

Duck nd cover  against him. All of his complain is not actually false. May b some.

[Steve]

His complaints are like: "Look at all these rookies on some other forum. I am the master. I will never share my hard earned secrets. I'm an expert. I play in real casinos like real men. They all hate me because I'm so good. I never annoy anyone. They all start it. They are all just annoying me because I'm better. It's not that I'm lonely here on Christmas and NYE on a forum. I'm just a roulette pro reading at home, reading about all the lowlifes that arent as good as me."

Then when he does share anything, it is garbage and he has no idea what he's talking about. He secretly confides he loses in casinos and has personal problems - even says he's just like George Costanza.

There's much more. Ken is a troll, a joke and not worth anyone's time. If he wasn't such an immoral and willfully malicious person who creates his own life then complains, I'd feel sorry for him.