Daily jokes from albalaha---

[albalaha]

Celebration Time!
This guy goes into a bar, sits down, and orders 12 Scotch & Sodas.

Not believing his ears, the Bartender says, "Did you say 12 Scotch & Sodas?"

"Yep," says the guy, "and I want all twelve now, right in a line."

"OK," says the bartender, and he serves them all up.

The customer proceeds to work his way down the line, one after another, till he finishes the very last one.

The bartender inquires, "Excuse me, but you must be having a celebration of some kind?"

"That's right, my very first blowjob!" says the customer.

Bartender, "Well, in that case, let me buy you one myself."

Customer, "No thanks, if the first 12 don't get the taste out of my mouth, I don't think another one will do any good!"

[albalaha]

The man with one testicle The Man With One Testicle There once was a Man who had only one testicle and whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, 'If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!'

The word got around and nobody called him that any more.

Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.'

He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do. Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away. Yellow Bird , who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone.

She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.'

Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, butYellow Bird wouldn't die!

Why ? Oh, come on... take a guess !!! Think about it !!! You're going to love this !!!

Everyone knows...

You can't kill Two Birds with OneStone!!!

[A3on]

 

Nice one !!

[albalaha]

Sexually Tired
A man goes to his doctor and complains that his wife hasn't wanted to have sex with him for the past six months.

The doctor tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her and hopefully determine what the problem is.

The following day, the wife goes to the doctor's office. The doctor asks her what's wrong, why doesn't she want to have sex with her husband?

"Oh, that's easily explained. For the past six months," the wife says, "I've been taking a cab to work every morning. I don't have any money. The cab driver asks me, 'Are you going to pay today, or what?' So, I take an 'or what'."

"Then, when I get to work," she continues, "I'm late, so the boss asks me, 'Are we going to write this down in the book, or what?' So, I take an 'or what'.

"I take a cab to go home after work and, as usual, I have no money. The cab driver asks me again, 'So, are you going to pay this time, or what?' Again, I take an 'or what'.

"So you see, doc, by the time I get home I'm all tired out and don't want it anymore."

"Yes, I see," replies the doctor. "So, are we going to tell your husband, or what?"

[chrisbis]

Great joke AL.  



Are you going to finally post some or all of your Kings System on this forum, ...............................................................Or What??

[albalaha]

Pregnant Daughter
An 18 year old girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.

Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with grey hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of a Ferrari and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them, "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life. Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach-front villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"

At this point, the father, who had remained silent holding a shot gun, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him. "You gonna try again..."

[albalaha]

How about my Jokes guys? Not getting any comments.

[chrisbis]

I like that last one AL.

Very Indian!!

[Blood Angel]

I think they've all been funny so far,,,nice one 

[albalaha]

How condoms are made?
A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.

"Do you know how they make these gloves?" he asked.

"No, I don't."

"Well," he spoofed, "there's a building in Mexico with a big tank of latex and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size."

She didn't crack a smile.

"Oh, well. I tried," he thought.

But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"I was just envisioning how condoms are made!"

[ADulay]

How about my Jokes guys? Not getting any comments.

Uh, this is a roulette forum.

There's no need to comment on miscellaneous jokes and the like as they are transient in nature.

If I want jokes, I'll read a political forum.

AD

[albalaha]

Dear Adulay,
             Offcourse, it is a rouletteforum but this section is necessary to relieve the stress of loss in a session and also when getting bore. 

[VLS]

A good joke makes a day a brighter one!

Thanks albalaha 

[ADulay]

I was merely replying to Al's question on why there were no "replies" to his joke stuff.

It's a joke.  Read it, laugh, move on.   I really don't see the need to comment on a bit of humor but evidently Al needs people to reply to his cartoons.

Consider this my perpetual humorous post reply.

AD ( )

[albalaha]

Dear Adulay,
        You are so great that you can comment twice in a section but sarcastically only and not a bit of appreciation. You better avoid any comment upon my topics specially in humour section because you will take all the humour and feelgood factors away by ur acidic comments.